Pushing Forward, Never Looking Back
In Genesis 19 we find the familiar event of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham’s nephew, Lot, found himself living in a city full of wicked people. God sent two angels to save Lot and his family before the city was destroyed. As they were fleeing the angels warned them, “Escape for your life. Do not look back or stop anywhere in the valley.” (Gen 19:17b) Lot’s wife, apparently missing all she left behind, disobeyed and looked over her shoulder. In an instant she was turned into a pillar of salt. (Genesis 19:26)
It wasn’t a place I ever dreamed I’d be, unable to help myself. As a young adult I had a moral compass set on true north and I stuck to it. I was not easily swayed. However, at twenty-three I met my undoing. He was, as the saying goes, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Charming, funny, and easy on the eyes, he was a believer who talked the talk and walked the walk for at least long enough for me to fall for him. And I fell hard. As time went on I began to see another side of this man — a dark side. And he drew me in with him. I rationalized and told myself I could handle this. I could break my ties with him at any moment. But that was a lie I wanted to believe. Daily, the Holy Spirit pricked at my heart and daily I answered back, I’ve got this. Another lie, because I knew I didn’t have it at all. Instead I was all in.
It was almost a year into our relationship that while lying in bed one night, I made the decision and surrendered it over to God. I cried out to the Lord for help. Actually, I pleaded, “God, please, please help me. Do something. Anything. Take him away because I don’t have the strength to do this on my own.”
Within a week, out of the blue, my frenemy got a promotion and was transferred to another city far away from Jacksonville. He thought I’d be upset but I saw the hole in the prison wall God prepared for me. I stepped through it and kept walking, never to look back.
Not long after, I met David, my beloved husband of forty years. We have two adult sons, two daughter-in-laws and three precious grandchildren whom I am forever thankful for.
What if I had looked back? Might I be a pillar of salt?
Addictions, be it sugar, drugs, alcohol, work or a person, are hard fought but not easily won by our strength. We need a Savior to save us from ourselves and our own destruction. If you struggle, hear me when I say, don’t believe your own lies. Look for The Truth. He will meet you where you are. He will open a door for you. Walk through it, push forward, and don’t look back.